La Darnoire

It rained all day. We took advantage of this to give each other a haircut. Oh yes – and the cat brought us a present – a pheasant. A very pleasant pheasant present, in fact. It was a fairly old bird, and having dug out my CSI kit from the barn and donned a deerstalker hat, with the aid of a large magnifying glass I set out to track the scene of the crime. I didn’t have to track the trail of feathers very far, as it happens. We deduced that the bird was probably half-blind with old age, and had flown smack into one of the chestnut trees across the lane. The cat had simply dragged it from there into the front garden. So as it was a fairly cool day, we lit the wood stove, and the pheasant spent the afternoon bubbling away in the Le Creuset cooking pot.

That was supper taken care of – with very low food mileage indeed; in fact the distance this particular food travelled was approximately 10 metres. This includes the garden-grown potatoes we ate with it. The green beans had travelled a bit further – a kilometer – as they came from the other garden. Ah yes, unfortunately we don’t know how far the onions had travelled, because we bought those.

Split and stacked more wood. Oh my aching back!

A chap called Fawlty (no, really, only it’s spelled slightly differently) came to the other farmhouse today to cover the outbuilding roof with a tarpaulin. I’m not sure if he had an assistant called Manuel or not. Que?

I also cleared some fallen branches at the corner of the fence near the pond, then we had a barbecue using our home-made charcoal which worked very well! We may be able to sell bags of it to passing cyclists from the local campsite. (There’s a large campsite not far away, frequented by Dutch, Belgians, Germans and English).

Only three Colorado Beetles today (there were none yesterday).

I also repaired the splitting maul which I managed to break yesterday; the handle snapped off just below the head. My excuse is, it was pretty damaged in that area before I started using it! (And the axe will probably follow suit shortly, there’s not much wood in the socket of the axe head). I simply cut off the damaged piece of the handle and shaped it to fit the head of the maul. (I can recommend the “Piranha”, which is a disc of coarse sandpaper which fits on an angle grinder). I then inserted a large diameter screw into the end of the handle to expand the wood in order to grip the head of the maul securely. The maul, axe, and my own small axe were then sharpened, again using the angle grinder. Ready for the next batch of wood! Actually this will probably be the large oak tree which was felled by this week’s tornado.

Well, the postman did bring the aged FIL’s prescription today, so he was happy (the aged FIL, not the postman, who had to drive his post-van over the potholed road to deliver the 24 bottles of booster food supplements. I’m just glad that for once it was not me that had to carry the stuff).

Today’s work schedule was completely avoided. Instead of doing what was on the list of jobs, I borrowed the aged FIL’s tractor. I first had to fill it up though – not with diesel, but with transmission oil – it has a bad oil leak and goes through 2 litres of 80W90 every time you use it. (The following unfortunately can’t count for the wildlife diary; I discovered a dormouse which had fallen into an open tub of old engine oil, poor thing). I also borrowed some heavy chains, the reason for which will become apparent shortly.

At the end of the property, a tree had blown down in yesterday’s high winds, blocking the road. It’s not a very heavily used road, but I didn’t pass up the chance of some free wood, so poodled down the lane with the tractor and chainsaw. I cut up the main trunk first (it was a 15-metre tall aspen) and put the logs into the bucket on the back of the tractor. However, the crown of the tree had hung up in the branches of other trees on the opposite side of the road. This is where the heavy chains came in. I tied the chain around the trunk, and hooked the other end over the front towbar of the tractor. Selecting reverse 2nd gear, I backed off slowly, and much to my surprise the entire upper part of the tree was pulled free. It must have weighed well over a ton, but I was seriously impressed with the pulling power of the tractor.

I also cut up two smaller wild cherry trees which had fallen over, and spent the afternoon splitting the logs with a splitting maul. LSS had gone to the aged FIL after lunch in order to do some washing, and I took the tractor back, parking it in its customary place in the barn. The chains needed to be returned to the workshop building, and the only way to carry all of them was to drape some over each arm, and over each shoulder. This resulted in the most amazing clanking noise as I walked, so I took a detour past the kitchen, rattling the chains and calling out “Oooooo, Ebeneeeeezer Scroooooooge. This is the ghooooost of Jaaaaacob Maaaaaarley.” Unfortunately my acting skills were completely wasted, as nobody was there.

Completely tired out from the day’s labours, we decided to go to a restaurant for dinner. We went to a Chinese place in Salbris where they served an all-you-can-eat buffet for €15 per head. Very nice it was too.

Did our weekly shopping this morning, including a visit to the chemist for the aged FIL. Fortunately they were out of stock of the heavy items, and LSS put her foot down, saying we were NOT coming back in the afternoon to collect these; they could jolly well deliver them.

A suitably chastened chemist agreed that they would be delivered tomorrow, by post.

Upon our return home, LSS went to the aged FIL to deliver his shopping. The sky had clouded over and there was a constant thundering noise. I had just started mixing some lime render for the pantry when a) the electricity cut off and b) there was a sudden storm. I stood by the kitchen window looking out at the lashing rain, which the strong wind was driving horizontally. A few hailstones fell as well, but this didn’t last long.

Much to my surprise, ten minutes later LSS screeched to a halt outside and dashed indoors. “Are you all right?” she asked. “Er, yes, why shouldn’t I be?” was my surprised response. “Because we’ve just had a tornado. The other farmhouse was hit, there are trees down everywhere, and there aren’t any tiles left on the roof.”

I jumped in the car with her and we scooted over to the aged FIL’s house. I found there had been a slight exaggeration; there were about twenty roof tiles missing (which of course meant that the rainwater had poured into the upper floor and was now dripping from the oak beams into every room). Buckets were scattered everywhere, catching the drips. One of the outbuildings was worse off, a 3-metre section of ridge tiles were missing, including a fairly large area of surrounding roof tiles. A large oak tree had given up the contest and was lying on its side in a field, several broken branches had flattened the fence surrounding the kitchen garden, and a tree had fallen across the access road. I drove back to La Darnoire to fetch the chainsaw and cleared the road. Branches were removed from the fence, and then I assisted in sweeping up a lot of fallen ceiling plaster.

Crisis over, I left LSS telephoning the insurance company on behalf of the aged FIL and returned home, where I fished out several large branches from the fishpond. I discovered that the scaffolding had blown over, but there was no other damage.

Wildlife diary: Whilst removing the branches from the pond, I discovered that the duck had returned, and had constructed another nest in which there were ten eggs. Hopefully she has better luck with this batch.

I forgot to mention that yesterday there were no Colorado Beetles on the potatoes at all. Today there were only three. So it looks like we’re winning the battle, but I don’t think we can organise a Victory parade just yet.

I plastered part of the pantry wall using lime render, and LSS started painting one wall of the kitchen with a white primer coat. It already looks tremendously improved; the previous dingy brown paint makes the kitchen look even smaller than it is.

The adjustable hole saw which I bought from Ebay arrived in the post, so I was able to drill two 82mm diameter holes in two of the water barrels so that the rainwater downpipes can go into the barrels in the right places.

The elderflower champagne still hasn’t started fermenting, so I’ve had to order a brewing belt (again from Ebay). This is a device which plugs into the mains, and you wrap it around the brewing container (either the plastic bucket or a demijohn) to provide the correct temperature for yeast. Obviously our previous house in Reading had central heating, so the temperature was fine for home brewing. La Darnoire, however, has no heating at all, and even though the temperature outside has now risen, it’s still below 20 degrees in the house itself.

We have charcoal! I’m feeling very pleased with myself indeed.

LSS started making another batch of elderflower cordial, and a chap came around to discuss our options for getting the water from the borehole into the house. Unfortunately it seems we’ll require another of the famous “ballons” to store the water. He’ll send us a quote for the work required.

LSS moved some of the kitchen furniture around a bit so that some more of the wall space could be de-greased, de-fungused, and otherwise cleaned prior to being painted. We’ve devised a Cunning Plan for freeing up some space in the (small) kitchen. I’ll build a brick cupboard with a lockable door outside against the kitchen wall. This will be accessed from the inside by means of a hatch, and the cupboard will not only store the gas cylinder for the gas cooker, but firewood for the wood stove.

Today I decided to try my hand at making my own charcoal. I constructed a retort using a small oil drum from which I removed the top. I cleaned it out as best I could, then packed it with scrap wood and replaced the lid. It was then inserted into an empty 210 litre drum which was already seeing service as an incinerator. I lit a fire in the large drum and kept it going for 3 hours, then let the fire die out naturally.

I’ll let it cool down overnight and have a look tomorrow.

The car boot sale was pretty dismal; it was raining and there weren’t that many stalls. On the way back we stopped at the aged aunt, and she invited us to stay for lunch.

I can’t get over how expensive paint is in France. The last time we were in Leroy Merlin I was astonished – an external gloss paint for wood is around €49 per litre! Today I poured a small test foundation for the barn wall. It’s a double-skinned wall which is fortunate, because the two lower courses of bricks on one side of the wall have crumbled into nothingness along the entire length of the wall. The idea is to put a small foundation in before replacing the two lower courses of bricks. Because it’s a very old farmhouse, it’s not a good idea to introduce cement; so I’m doing everything with NHL 3.5 lime. The mixture I used was 1 part lime, 2 parts sand, and 2 parts gravel. Seems to work all right, but need to leave it for a while to set before I can lay bricks on it.

I also progressed sorting out some bits and pieces in the workshop, and filled the remainder of the holes in the pantry walls; these are now ready for lime plaster. Tried some of LSS’s elderflower cordial which she made a couple of days ago and bottled today. Very nice it is too; she may make some more tomorrow. The elderflower champagne which I’ve started brewing has still not started bubbling, so I suspect the temperature in the house is just too cold for the yeast being 20 degrees.

Tomorrow there’s a car boot sale in Lamotte Beuvron which we’ll have a look at.

LSS spent several hours at the aged FIL’s, for the first time meeting the person in charge of a service called SSIAD. This is a sort of domestic medical hygiene service, and LSS has been trying to get their assistance for over a month now. (It’s not right that a daughter should be washing her own father). Not that much washing has taken place thus far though; a quick lather of the legs and upper body has taken place on Saturday afternoons but that’s as far as it went.

The good news is that SSIAD will now take over this service, and not only that, but the aged FIL will now be thoroughly washed Daily (excepting weekends). He will never have been so clean! (Even the physiotherapist who visits three times a week had started commenting that he truly was a smelly old man).

I filled in the hole in the floor in the outbuilding containing the infamous ballon; the hole was dug years ago to insert the pipe leading to the well and was never filled in. We got fed up with falling into it, so today another little job was ticked off the list. We also erected a trellis fence next to the pea plants which have started to sprout – at least the little things will now have something to climb onto!

Today’s Colorado Beetle count: 3.

I have initiated a new sport, Ladybird Relocation. The rules are simple; search the garden for a ladybird (there are plenty). Encourage it to climb onto your finger. Then run like mad to a plant infested with greenfly (namely one of the little peach trees) and encourage the ladybird to climb off your finger onto a greenfly-covered leaf. I successfully transplanted five before getting bored. Knowing the voracious appetites of ladybirds, I’m fully expecting the peach tree to be greenfly-free by tomorrow morning.

Wildlife diary: A roe deer crossing the farm track. We also now have a stuttering cuckoo in the neighbourhood, which sounds very odd indeed. The call is something like: cuckoo, cuck-oo, cuck-cuck-cuck-cuck-cuck-oooooo (the last few syllables in a frenzied crescendo).