La Darnoire

The morning was spent setting up the ladders and pulley for Operation Solar Panel. Unfortunately the ladders are about half a metre shorter than I’d like, so the angle from the ground to the frame on the roof isn’t quite correct. Only time will tell whether this creates a problem or not.

The windscreen wiper motor on the tractor is another one of those non-functioning items which you only find out about when you need it. I have removed it and had a look inside; it’s pretty rusted. LSS was going into Salbris to do some shopping, so I asked her to drop it off at Mr. C to see if he had anything similar as a replacement. Apparently T (one half of T&M) was there as well. Mr. C thinks the wiper motor can be repaired, so LSS left him to it.

Later in the afternoon T arrived, bearing the repaired wiper motor. I reinstalled it on the tractor; now all we need is a new wiper blade and if it rains we’ll be able to see where we’re going!

In the morning I repaired yet another tractor tyre (one of the spares) with the “assistance” of three of the chickens, who seemed convinced there were Things To Eat inside the tyre. I finally got rid of them by starting up the new compressor, and directing some compressed air in their direction.

We have been using the aged FIL’s Citroën as a runabout for the last few months, in order to give the Renault 5 a rest. This turned out to be a good thing; as it was normally housed in the aged FIL’s garage. Which, if you remember, recently burnt down. However, about two weeks ago, LSS shut the door of the Citroën, and the drivers door window shattered into a million tiny pieces. Fortunately this sort of thing is covered by the aged FIL’s insurance policy, so no costs were involved. At noon today was the scheduled visit by the agent from Carglass. This is the equivalent to Autoglass in the UK (in fact it’s the same company, and even their television advertisements are the same. Except they’re in French, of course.) The company offers a mobile windscreen repair service, and also fix other vehicle glazing issues. But the icing on top was that Carglass were so delighted that we were using their services, they offered us new windscreen wipers, free of charge. LSS said we didn’t need new wipers for the Citroën, but if they were offering, we’d like some for the Hyundai. So we now have new wipers for her car.  This is the second vehicle glass replacement this year. The first time, LSS decided to wash the Renault 5. When she directed the hosepipe onto the windscreen, it cracked in two (the windscreen, not the hosepipe). Things happen in threes, they say. I wonder if we’ll be calling the insurance company again soon.

After the Citroën had been repaired, LSS decided to use the tractor to cut the grass in the fields and alleyways using the brushcutter attachment. She stopped here for a break, and mentioned that the tractor was starting to smell a bit hot. After some discussion she decided to return to the aged FIL to add some oil (which we haven’t done for a while). On the way there she realised that the reason the tractor was smelling hot was that she had once again forgotten to release the transmission handbrake. I think I should just disconnect it.

The thermal store control panel has been assembled and given its first coat of paint. I constructed it out of plywood, and although I think it would have looked better with a natural finish, we’ve found that the only way to keep mould from appearing on wooden surfaces is by painting them. When we visit the UK towards the end of the year we’ll be stocking up on tins of paint as well; it’s horribly expensive in France.

I also gave the solar panel glass one final clean, and applied a coat of Rain-X. This should help to keep the glass clean for a bit longer! The bottle of Rain-X is a remnant of my motorcycle commuting days; I used to use it on the windshield of the ST1100, and also on my helmet visor.

Another little task achieved today was to fix some wheels to the generator frame. There was an old pram in the barn when we moved in (it used to be occupied by LSS when she was little!) and the solid-tyred spoked wheels have come in very handy. At least the generator can now be moved from place to place without having to carry it!

In the morning we once again gave each other our bi-monthly haircuts, so we should now start saving a bit on shampoo! At least my hat fits me again.

I’ve also received a sales report for the month of May for my book “A Bathtub in Our Garden”; and would like to take the opportunity to thank all of you who purchased a copy from Amazon. You know who you are! Now tell your friends to buy one!

Wildlife diary: I had a real surprise this afternoon. I was in the workshop, making a frame for the thermal store control panel, when I heard the chickens outside (we let them out at lunchtime once they’ve laid their eggs). Two of them were making the noise they usually make when they see something they don’t like. “Pork? Pork? Pok-pok-pok-pok-pok-paaaaawwkkk!”

I didn’t have time to go outside to see what the matter was. A small, fat little creature bustled in through the workshop doorway, went right past my feet, under the workbench, out from under the workbench again, bumped into a bucket, reversed, clambered over some pieces of wood, and then disappeared under a shelving unit. It was almost as though it was saying to itself “Places to go! Must keep moving! Places to be! Come on feet, don’t let me down now!”

It was a hedgehog.

The chickens had obviously disturbed it in the shrubbery, and it decided to look for more peaceful surroundings. I cut a small corner off the bottom of the workshop door so that it can get out by itself, which I expect it will; there’s nothing for it to eat in there!

Work on the solar panel is complete. The glass has been installed, and I made a frame from some scrap pieces of wood to hold the glass in place. The scrap wood already had a 5mm rebate on one edge, which as luck would have it, is exactly the thickness of the glass. Some closed-cell foam tape provides the necessary expansion joint, and the entire frame was waterproofed with silicone sealer around the edges.

Perhaps this week we’ll be able to put it on the roof! I’ve constructed a pulley using a plank of wood and a plastic fishing-line spool with a steel bolt through it. A rope will lead from the base of this pulley, over the ridge line, into the garden, where it will be anchored with a stout metal bar like a large tent-peg. Another rope will be attached to the solar panel, and go around the pulley. The solar panel itself will be resting on two aluminium ladders; and the theory is that by pulling on the other end of the rope, the panel will be dragged up the ladders until it drops into the steel frame which is already fixed to the roof itself.

However, we’re going to need some extra manpower to carry the solar panel out of the construction area (the barn) to the ladders, so we’ll probably need to ask T&M for some assistance. I used vehicle glass instead of polycarbonate sheet because we already had several large panes of vehicle glass, which were removed from a long-gone combine harvester. Polycarbonate sheeting would have added to the cost tremendously. I estimate the entire panel weighs some 60kg. The glass itself weighs around 36kg. But it’s not the weight which is the issue; the panel needs to be moved in such a way that it does not twist and break the glass! Unfortinately it would not have been practical to install the glass once the panel was on the roof.

Now I need to start fabricating the control panel. This will display the various temperatures in the thermal store, and control the operation of the radiator circuit and the solar panel pump.

Some unscheduled electrical work also took place today. Since the installation of the washing machine, we have found that it sometimes causes the electricity to trip. We have a three-phase supply, and balancing each of the three phases to run single-phase equipment is a bit of a black art. The washing machine causes the power to trip because it is on the same phase as the borehole pump. If the pressure vessel is full when the machine starts, there’s no problem; but if the borehole pump starts up whilst the washing machine is working, the load on that phase of the supply is too much, so the power trips off.

I have now moved the washing machine circuit to a different phase rail; we’ll see if that helps.

Wildlife diary: Unfortunately (for the coypu, that is), it had not moved on to other premises. It just didn’t like potatoes. An apple, on the other hand, proved irresistible. It was humanely despatched, but that now means I have another job to do: skinning the animal. LSS has found a recipe for coypu stew.

The remaining wall of the aged FIL’s garage fell down last night. Well, at least that saves us having to get someone to demolish it. The insurance expert paid us a visit at the beginning of the week, and said we can start getting quotes for rebuilding.

Wildlife diary: The coypu has not been seen for a few days now. The trap had been baited with some potatoes, but LSS bought an apple today at the supermarket, so we’ve replaced the potatoes with pieces of apple. Hopefully it’s moved on to other premises.

LSS had the bright idea of searching the aged FIL’s cupboards for a suitable coypu dispatcher. Success! We have now borrowed something which I must admit I have never seen before. It’s called a “garden gun”.

It’s a single-shot shotgun (in other words the barrel has no rifling) but it’s bolt-action, and takes a selection of 9mm rimfire cartridges. Those of particular interest in this case are solid slugs. Now at least we have a humane method of disposing of the coypu. Should we catch it, of course. The live trap has been placed at the back of the pond.

There has still been no news from HSBC regarding the bank account closure. The remaining funds have still not been transferred to our joint account. LSS called them to enquire what the delay was. They replied that everything was in order, but it could take up to a month to close an account. Why am I not surprised?

We would appear to have a coypu in our pond. This is both good and bad news. Good, because we can make some more pâté and tanning-of-skin; and bad, because these animals are very habitat-destructive. We can do without ring-barked trees and increased erosion of the pond banks due to tunneling, thank you very much. I’ll need to set up the aged FIL’s live trap tomorrow. This is a wire cage with a baseplate linked to sliding doors at both ends. When an animal steps on the baseplate, the doors shut. Unfortunately disposing of the animal humanely is going to be a problem.

A long, long, time ago I owned a .22LR pistol, which I enjoyed using for occasional target shooting. Unfortunately the UK government decided this was A Bad Thing, and banned pistol ownership. Of course this meant the end of gun crime in the UK.

Oh, wait, wrong universe. Of course it didn’t.

Anyway, I switched to owning a .22LR rifle instead. Unfortunately the UK government then decided this was also A Bad Thing, and changed the rules. One had to be a member of a shooting club, and attend regular meetings (regular as in weekly). Due to time constraints at the time, I was unable to comply with the weekly requirement, so that was the end of my target shooting days. .22 ownership is Frowned Upon in France; I could apply for a hunting licence, and get a shotgun or larger calibre rifle – but I don’t have the time or finances at the moment.

The point is, I am left without a humane way of dispatching the possibly-caught coypu. As it is an environmental destroyer, releasing it elsewhere is not an option. And even if I had a shotgun, this would damage both the meat and the pelt. Whacking it on the head with an iron bar could be dangerous; these animals can inflict a nasty bite when cornered. I’ll say no more, but I’m afraid there will be no quick method employed, if the animal is unfortunate enough to get caught in the trap.

(This post was supposed to go live on the 25th. However, LSS wanted to check some details first. Details have now been checked and verified, so here it is.)

We went to the village polling station again to vote in the EU elections. The turnout did not seem to be as impressive as it was when the local Mayoral elections were being held! Once again the French system appears to be particularly unkind to trees; each party (of which there were many!) has its own piece of paper. These are displayed in stacks on two trestle tables. One collects a piece of paper from each stack, and in the secrecy of the polling booth puts ones chosen piece of paper in the envelope. The unused pieces of paper are then simply thrown away. Of course in our case they were thrown away in the direction of the box containing fire-lighting materials.

The little bunnies are now eating solid food in addition to their accustomed diet; so we now need to pick grass, dandelions, clover etc. etc. several times a day. They’re also tucking in to kitchen vegetable scraps (the radish leaves, for example). Speaking of bunnies, here’s a rather chilling bunny-related tale:

Once upon a time, LSS had a First Cousin Twice Removed. (To save you looking it up in a genealogical textbook, this was her grandfather’s cousin). During the Second World War, France was of course occupied by the Germans. And one of the rules that the occupying forces imposed was that the possession of firearms was prohibited (for obvious reasons).

Now this First Cousin Twice Removed (we’ll call him Charles, because not only was that his name, but to keep referring to him as First Cousin Twice Removed would be silly) was a farmer. He would have been in his late thirties when the following events occurred. He was also particularly fond of wild rabbits. I don’t mean he went into the woods to admire the cute bunnies; he found them to be extremely tasty, especially when his wife Albertine made a casserole on the wood-burning kitchen range. As his skills at setting snares were not really up to scratch, he decided to ignore this apparently stupid law, and retained his shotgun.

All would have been well, had Charles not also had a fondness for a few glasses of lunchtime wine at the pavement tables of the village café. On this particular day he had arranged to meet his friend René, to catch up on some gossip.

The sunlight sparkled on the wine-glasses of the two men. An open packet of Gauloises cigarettes lay next to a half-empty bottle of red wine, which cast a ruby shadow on the surface of the stained circular table. The state of the ashtray indicated that the men had been there for some time; two empty wine-bottles had already been removed by the waiter. Deep in conversation, the two men paid scant attention to the other customers.

The sunlight also glittered on the silver-grey braid around the collar of Scharführer Günzel, seated at a table near the doorway. Although the local radar installation fell under the jurisdiction of the Luftwaffe, Scharführer Günzel had been seconded to this unit. He was ostensibly in charge of the security for the radar; but the real reason for his posting was to try and gather any intelligence available regarding the local French Resistance. (The nearby Maquis de Souesmes were giving the occupying forces a lot of trouble. The munitions factory in nearby Salbris was now under German control, and the four main sections of this factory were linked by a rail network; an easy target for sabotage.) The diamond-shaped patch on his sleeve bore the letters “SD” (Sicherheitsdienst); Scharführer Günzel was a non-commissioned officer in the SS. He had been selected for this particular task because he spoke fluent French, although as part of his cover he pretended not to understand more than a few basic words.

Meanwhile, the conversation between Charles and his friend was becoming interesting. René was complaining about the scarcity of the local game, and the recent difficulty in snaring rabbits. “I don’t have that problem!” boasted Charles. “I just use my shotgun. I’m not obeying any stupid Boche rules. My farm is miles away from the village, so nobody is any the wiser.” His friend kicked him under the table, indicating the German soldier drinking coffee at the table near the doorway. “Oh, don’t worry about him. He’s always here. He doesn’t speak French anyway. More wine?”

A few days later, Charles was not at home when a squad of German soldiers arrived to search for the illegal shotgun. But his wife was.

The children were somewhat puzzled to find their mother missing when they returned home from school. She was never seen again; she died in one of the camps. There is a simple plaque on her parents’ grave:

Postscript: When Charles died in 1985, his children refused to have him buried in the family plot; instead he is interred at the other end of the village cemetery.

I went to the other branch of BricoDepot in Bourges, on my own this time, as LSS had Things To Do. She had called them first to make sure they had this model of generator in stock (they did) and to ask if they would reserve one for me (“Yes,” they said). So we now have a means of pushing electrons through some copper wires if there’s another power cut!

In the afternoon we paid a visit to BricoDepot in Orleans to obtain sundry building supplies which will enable me to start work on constructing the corridor between the lounge and the barn. Once the solar panel installation has been completed, that is. The corridor construction entails building a partition wall and door in the bedroom, before I use a hammer and chisel to open up a doorway leading into the barn.

Other items on the shopping list included an air compressor (the aged FIL’s is now a melted pile of scrap due to the fire) and a small generator (to power our essentials should there be another long-lasting electricity outage – which, with the current state of the weather, is highly likely).

Shopping at BricoDepot is both a good and bad experience.

Good; because they usually have items in stock. Except for today, of course. The generator I wanted had sold out, so I’ll need to pay a visit to the branch in Bourges tomorrow to get that. But it’s at a good price, so it’s worth the trip.
Bad; because although BricoDepot is owned by the Kingfisher Group (which also owns B&Q and Screwfix in the UK), the customer service (ah, those foreign words again) is typically French. Their stock is placed on heavy-duty racking, reaching to the ceiling in some places. I asked for some assistance in retrieving ten timber beams from a high stack, just out of reach. Assistance was promised.

Having waited for nearly ten minutes, LSS then joined me, having been wandering around on her own looking for other bits and pieces. Successfully, I may add. She went off to ask for assistance. Assistance was promised.

After yet another ten minutes, she went to ask again. Finally a fork-lift truck operator appeared. Unfortunately his forklift was already heavily-laden with another customers’ purchases. He joined the queue waiting to pay, which by this time had grown enormously. I’d had enough. I climbed onto the lowest stack of timbers, and at the full extent of my arms, pulled the beams I required from the upper stack one at a time. It’s a good job I’m tall. The fork-lift truck operator watched this operation expressionlessly, then said something like “Do you need assistance?”
“Désolé, je ne parle pas français!” (Sorry, I don’t speak French), I retorted, then added in English, “When we asked for help, you lot couldn’t be bothered. Now you can bu**er off; I’ll do it myself.” Uncomprehending Gallic shrugs resulted. (When we had finally paid for all our purchases and left the shop with two fully-laden heavy-duty trolleys, we noticed a group of five employees in the car-park all chatting away and smoking cigarettes. Now as an ex-smoker myself, I have no issue with people taking smoke-breaks. But when a shop is busy and there are insufficient staff, as a manager I would not countenance having five employees taking a break at the same time.)

Having loaded the timber beams onto the trolley, we moved on to the aisle containing doors. At this point LSS received a telephone call from Présence Verte on her mobile. The aged FIL had pushed his emergency button. Again. Obviously, as we were in Orleans, LSS requested that the next person on the list (M&O) respond to the call. It transpired that there had been a thunderstorm, and the aged FIL’s electricity supply had tripped. Again. M&O managed to reset it successfully. We’ve received a quote from the company for which LSS’s cousin’s husband works (well, it’s the countryside; everybody either knows everybody else or is related) for the re-wiring of the aged FIL’s house. It’s around €4500, which is roughly what I estimated it would cost. The aged FIL will be able to afford that, so as soon as the second quote is received (from the emergency electrician who attended last Saturday) we’ll be able to authorise the work. This emergency-button-pushing due to failing electrics has to stop!

The good news today was that we received a refund from the French National Health Service for my dental work (tooth filling), which brought the cost down to a meagre €17. When discussing this with T&M, they did point out that in contrast to dental work, there is a six-month wait if you would like to have a checkup at an optometrist – and unless you have a “Mutuel” (a top-up healthcare payment), spectacles are horribly expensive. The annual cost of the “Mutuel” itself is also rather high, so we’ve opted to do without. As we’re planning a visit to the UK towards the end of the year to stock up on some essentials, we’ll try and book an appointment at Vision Express for an eye test. Not that either of us need spectacles yet, but it would be nice to have an official verdict!